Have you ever been at that point in a relationship where it has all fallen apart and you are both ready to move on... well I have been there recently. All of a sudden this mystical Angel appeared and has been enticing and suducing me through emails, non-verbals, and phone calls. This Angel makes me feel wanted as though I am a true human being. So, then my relationship is all juggled and my thoughts and feelings start to juggle and out of nowhere things start getting on track... I have to think to myself staying with dissapointing pants or changing my mind and getting with Angel. Its very hard and a decisive move that needs to be taken, I just cant help but feeling helplessness. I know in the end it will all work out I am just anticipating something more, something better, and this gets me excited for the future
Lately, all i do is work. Do you know what work is? I am not talking about that crazy malibu barbie work selling socks with mickey mouse on one side and donald duck on the other. No, I am talking about real work... anyways, Later.
Go friggin figure... I got a job after 44 applications. So yeah, I am a receptionist for Trinity Technologies. I almost make triple figures for one day of work. I do however make dbl figures per hr. So I just wanted to let everyone know that I am alive and that I still care about everyone that is in my life.
Today, I would like to talk more on my life. Lately, I have been up to good. Odd, yes I know. I have been managing the boys baskeball team at the college and helping with the election by donating my time and volunteering at the local DFL headquarters. Even though I am the local chapter President of the College DFL, I still feel it is a good step. When I am not doing those activities, I have been lifting weights and talking with God. I believe that God helps me through my day and with my decision making. Off subject, anyways... I guess today my thoughts are "what can I do to help others," when they were in a similar situation as to my own. I guess, I just want to make sure my friends know that I am there for them and that I am not going to backstab them, hurt them, and that I will be there for them... anyways off into the sun I go. Peace.
Howdy, how are all of you listeners doing? I, myself am doing ok. I am little intoxicated right now, but I feel ok. I guess I am writing because I have a couple things on my mind. First, why do people vote for Bush? I don't really understand it. For example, I met this girl krystal tonight through Taylor and she was trying to tell me how indicisive John Kerry might be. However, she didn't really know what she was talking about and that was sad to me. It was sad, because so many people are voting for Bush but don't understand how bad of a president he has made. Honestly, I applied for over 40 jobs and didn't get a single call back. I know what you are thinking, but your wrong. All of these places had apply within or help wanted signs on the outside. So what is your next guess I am underqualified or what... wrong. I was a divisional manager at the last place I had worked. So underqualified is the wrong awnser. You would think that having manager experience underneath me, that people would want a person like me to work for their organization... nope I guess not. So, as a result of job loss and people not being able to get jobs, George Bush has a put a huge damper on my life. Another example yes, school... college... my tuition has raised 50% here in Minnesota since George Bush has been put into office. Nothing happened the first year because he was on vacation the first 7 months. Go figure. Anyways, I should probably go to bed I am upset with the country and the way they are thinking. Yes, I take it personally and I take it to heart. Why do people vote for George Bush? It cant be because John Kerry is a flip-flopper, because he changes his mind with new evidence and new situations that come to the table... do we really want Bush who has a consistent view of more of the same B.S.? G'nite folks .... Peace to all. ~Justin~
Howdy all, I have been living pretty good lately. I have been having fun and living life happily. I have been spending time with Taylor and friends. Like yesterday, I went weight lifting with my friend Chad. It was fun, I got him to try new things out in the gym and actually his arms were sore before we even left the gym, so I know I did something right. After that Jason showed up, and we all went out to eat... well Jason didn't eat instead he drank two beers. Anyways todays is the short one, later.
Well, here I go again... my life is on the right track and I don't have any emotional baggage hanging around me. My life is on the right track and my goals are in viewable distance now. It has been along time since I started college and my first stage will be finished within a year, and then maybe another degree after the first. My network of friends is decent, even though nobody ever calls me. I guess it wont be hard to know that again I am gonna spend a night alone. My feelings for people increase while my self perception and self esteem rise. I think that within a 6 months I should be very satisfied with where my life is going and where I have arrived up untill that point. Untill then, I am continue to push myself to be a better person to everybody and everything.
I had a pretty calm day today. My car was keyed. Woody was Discriminated against. My meeting got cancelled for sunday. So even though all these bad things that have happened, I have remained calm like I have promised to be thus far. I have experienced through some hell and remained to become a better self. I do believe that a day like this makes me wonder what helped me get through it, was it God? I don't know at this point but what I do know is that I, in my dilemma I have got some new educational tips for myself and what to do in a situation like todays. So from now on I guess throw what ever you have at me, because it is not going to affect me emotionally. I have God and Jesus Christ on my side and right now is the defining moment that God has been looking for through me. For the last two weeks God has been a mission to capture me and show me what it is going to be like without and with him. I have seen things that are going to be excellent kind of like (T) for teaser. I have also seen things that are horrible like my experiences today. What god is trying to do to me is have me give my life to him, and I think right now I have just decided that He is my savior and that I am gonna give my life to him. Peace and love to the world. I will forgive everyone in due time, I will never forget however what you have done to me in my life time. I am changing person everyday just like all of you, but I believe that it is time to make the leap. ~ Justin ~
I have been on a spiritual journey lately and that is why I have not been writing. I am back for some time now to write so I would like to take this time to say that I believe that Jesus tried reaching out to me last week and I think it may have worked. For a while, I was thinking of trying buddism and I still am thinking and experimenting. I have boughten a couple books and studied a little bit about the lifestyle, however I am just getting in on the surface. Also, I would like to say that I haven't seen many friends lately but that I have been making it a point to see them because I am going to be moving soon. 9 months and I am back into the cities where I belong. Finally, I have had lots of problems through out the last year and I had to deal with my depression as well as my ex cheating on me so I want to take this time to apologize to all of those who might have been hurt. I want to make my apology public. So If you know anyone who might be upset, let them know that I apologize... thank you for everything world ~Peace and Love ~
Yet another day goes by and yet another day blown off. Yes I am talking about my exgf again. Moving on in life... Lost my Id, but that is ok cuz I get my new one in 37 days, yep thats right my birthday is coming up the big Two-One. Also, a little bit of sad news, my drum set has been up for sale for less than a week and I have two people looking to maybe buy it, I guess I will see what happens. I am asking $2000- $3000 for the kit. So If that goes through I guess I will be getting a giant TV... ok maybe not. Most likely I would pay off my bills and debts and then move on with life. Next, my website is up and going now, well it has been but I bought a domain name, www.zomboman.com so that is nice, you can just click on the link on the right side of the screen that says back to homepage. It is a direct link to the site, as well as on the site there is a direct link to here. And that would be the link that says Jeblog. Building a chopper soon, should have an engine or bike to start building around September. That is when I want to start building is September. I am gonna get back to work though... peace
Hmm, well it seems as if Tblog has made some serious improvements over the last couple of months! I really enjoy this site. It lets me get my word out and share what I feel with a lot of people. I guess hmm what to say what to do. I have been up to good lately... working, working out every other day getting stronger and stronger. I have been spending time with Shannon when I have time and time with friends when I have time. With work I have been so busy I havent really had time for anyone but myself. It sucks because people will and like to get mad but they understand the ups and downs of having a job. I do get sick of drama queens and kings... I mean don't get me wrong we all need a little bit a drama but there are always extremes on each side. And, I don't like when i run into that extreme drama person who absolutely lives off of it. Anyways... chads new crib is pretty sweet... we are gonna throw some bomb-ass partys there. The other night we had us two and 4 girls over so we are just kinda getting the place on the map before we ignite it. Maybe I should throw my B-Day party there??? Hmm, looks like I need to do some pondering real quick like! Anywhooo I am off and back to work...peace and love - K. Justin
Well since my last post I have been trying to live up the rest of my summer time! I do have a new girlfriend and one that I want to keep. Her name is Shannon, from Fargo-Moorehead area. She short, shes cute, and she is a control freak... believe me I can see HUGE, HUGE, HUGE differences! Anyways I spent some time with Ben today played 2 games of Madden 2004 since 2005 comes out in a week. Spent some time with Jon on Friday... we jammed for a little talked about how he was moving to the cities because Kaala is moving up there for school. Then I hung out with Sarah and Shawn Christenson at the Bar in Granite... we talked about my birthday party that I want to throw in MPLS... I want it to be awsome but I dont have a place I can go to yet. I am gonna have mad cash for alcohol since its my 21st B-day. Anyways I have been injured for the last two months but for the last 3-5 weeks I have been working out trying to strengthen that muscle that is weak and it seems that i am getting stronger and stronger as everyday goes by. My friend chad says I am strong enough to kick my ex's new bf's ass... yeah but I dont fight especially when the people aren't worth anything. I guess if I was talking about strength right now... I have gained about 10 lbs in muscle... so yeah enough of the boasting. I am going to try and post more often then what i did before, I guess I used to post more before since I was always upset and pist becuase my ex (in my opinon) was being a dumb bitch. Peace and Love
Well now I had an interesting week off from most of my usual stuff and that is because I have started chatting at www.okayamigo.com it is an awsome site for meeting people!!!! anyways my girlfriend is back today from SD, ND, and Homestead.... i missed her (wow, just got a text from her sayin goodmornin) anywho I got a phone call yesterday one of my friends called to bitch me out about making out with her bestfriend, ok... for one, no for two, i wouldnt do that to you, and for three, someone is blowing some smoke up your ass and you best put it out. Yep, bye
Yeah right, ok well today I had some caffeine for the first time since last wed... yep. And then today I wont see Shannon Elizabeth overnight. And So I guess this means I am gonna smoke a cig. since I havent done any of these 3 things since wed... but hey I quit right? yeah, I better not smoke or I will be f'n mad at my self.
Ah, quit smoking... again, yea maybe it will last for more than a yea this time! At least I am hoping so! I have also stopped drinking pop as of right now. I stopped drinking it the same day I stopped smoking. I guess we will see how I do. I guess the mendaciousness of it all is I still drink pop, just not caffinated pop. So it is kinda bland wierd. However, I have a g/f who has been supporting me through this last week, thank god cuz its tough. Ya ya I know that out there lies some people who never had that problem, but hey shut up you insecure bastards and realize that it is more than a problem for us who are addicted to the cigarettes. But anywho, just wanted to throw an update out there while I am straightening my life out lately. Just so you all know that I am not dead.
Dont mind the title i am just bored, working in the computer lab, bored, oh yeah did i forget to mention bored... and bored and bored. Anyways, interesting last week with people trying to kill themselves to others being depressed it has just been a great week. I have been looking for a gf but every time i go to walmart they are out of them, so i guess i might have to go to target and see if they carry gf's. I have some prospects but 1. i wont get with, 2. I might get with, and 3. were just friends 4. I co-worker so Hmmm, lots of decisions and lots of bullshit going on in the world today and yesterday and tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and so on... man I hate drama, but it gets the day to go by so fast. I mean there is so much more i could do with my time, like continue my learning on guitar or piano or drums... but no I would rather put up with some girls in order to find myself a nice gf. And not like that last one I had cuz she all flaked out and started seeing some guy before we even broke up, so I dont want a gf like her again. Yeah, and the whole mature thing to do is kiss your new bf in front of me while i am at work, you know what I got the point when I saw you two holding hands. I didnt need to see you two kiss save that shit for the bedroom. Ok, I dont care, I dont friggen care Just leave me alone cuz I'm not jealous of either one of you. First, hes ugly, mean, unintelligent, and he drinks a lot. I am sure most women find that attractive. 2. He is with a girl who controls everything aspect, and leaves no compromise. She likes to party with other ppl without her bf all the time as well as drink go to the bar without her bf... Yeah sounds fun, fuck that sounds like a slut. Anyways my aspect on women has changed in the last week simply because of all the backstabbing I have heard about my ex through other people at the streetdance. So yeah she can go to hell and I am not going to cooperate nicely anymore, if i call and she dont return i will fuckin let her know that she is too stuck up to return a phone call, to busy my ass... lets seee, hmm Friday she told me she was gonna call, sat, sun I called back and left a msg for her to call back, mon, tue nite I txt and let her know that she is to stuck up, wed she finally gets back to me... its called busy she said... yeah ok. bye bye now peace and love to my friends and loved ones you know who you are! And fuck all you posers and backstabbers one day either god or I will have our way with you. Later
WEll lets see, yesterday I woke up went to work at 6 till 2am, got home and was in bed at 3:30ish, woke up at 8 cuz i went golfing with Ben.... finally some love, this guy is like one of my best friends but he is always to busy to spend some time. I gave him a guilt trip so we went golfing and I am gonna go hang out with him some time next week. He was so busy with school, work, and his wedding that he couldnt do anything, and i was fine with that. So i let things be for awhile untill he had time again. Well it was like he just thought we werent friends or something, so now he is getting back into the swing of things. So yeah, I am quite thrilled. Last nite I had my ex-girlfriend stefanie come to the beer garden. I am the bouncer for the street dance. She wanted me to let her in..... um no way! I have nothing against you, but sorry I am not going to lose my Job... I dont care if your the damn president, if your not 21 your not gonna be in the beer garden! Thats my job and I wont abuse it to show some love to my ex-girlfriend. Sorry, find another sucker to do you dirty work. Anyways, I have to see if i have to work on the 4th of september, my uncle yonder wants me to work at the renisance festival or however the hell you spell it... i dont know got to call work and see which days i work... peace and love, i'm off... have to work from 1-3 and then from 5-close its gonna be like 12 hour shift... yeah long... later
Well these last 2-3 weeks have been hell on my leg, if you have seen me try to walk, you would understand. What happened is I got injured last september with a slip and fall @ alco discount store. They had me in and out of the hospital, and they had me see a specialist. That didn't work so I stopped going. Well here I am now, seeing a chiropractor and on the first day he had already seemed to figure some of the problem out. Alco's insurance wouldnt let me see a chiropractor, they are dumb. Well anyways, the doctor told me today that my right hip has twisted inward. He told me that L5 is twisted and that he can tell that something is wrong. Alright I see a regular doctor and a specialist, get mri's and x-rays and they cant tell me anything except that there is soft tissue damage, and that should heal on its own. I see this doctor and he is like, we can fix this. So yeah, needless to say, i might be getting myself a lawyer really soon, cuz this pain pisses me off. It sent me into depression before, and that in turn made me drop out of school last fall. So Alco, watch out cuz I am about to drop plates. Anywho, gotta get back to work, peace and love and fuck all you who like to hate on me.
yeah, hi I have been harrassed to put a blog up, so here it is. I have been very VERY BROKE lately. Even though this has happened my great friend Chad has broughten me out and about on him... hes F'in awsome! First, him and I work out in Granite Falls Killowatt center, and then yesterday we went and visited our friend GIl and his boyfriend Joel... who is hott. Called my brother Joe yesterday to say hi. It was my first attempt to try and be a good brother, by calling my brother. So yeah that was interesting... anywho.... talk at ya later, peace and love
Sick of being sick and tired!!! This is now one full week of being sick! I don't like it! Well anyways I just wanted to let everyone know that I am not gonna post today except this cuz I am resting and healing, peace and love
Yes, I am still single since the break up with my ex, just so all those people who keep wondering and asking me about it, can know. So right now I am kinda going to go down memory lane with what I have experienced.
First, I was very interested with this one girl, but then I found out she did drugs.... so no way! I am sorry, but i will not screw my life up again going down that road. Example, "what are you doing Sally?" she says "oh nothing going to hit the crack pipe, what are you doing?" I say "going to the park, have fun!" No that would never work for me.
Next, I knew this other girl who wants to get with me, but I am not at all interested in her... how do I tell her without being mean? I have no idea but what I need to do is let her know that I am not going to date right now cuz she is kinda a heavey metal person and she would be a lot cooler if she was my friend.
Also, I used to date her friend Jenny, who I am not gonna get back together with. We dated like 3 or 4 yrs ago. yes I know michelle you were hoping, and yes Stefanie I know you seem to be waiting for me to get another girlfriend since we broke up, but not today.
Then there is this other girl who I dated before, we were kinda hanging out but not really talking at all. Text messaging back and forth a little. I don't want to go into details cuz I don't want to disclose that information, lets just say I like her but it would never work. She is kinda like my last g/f and that is why I had to stop it before we started dating.
Then there is this other girl that I met that I like, and she likes me (well I think she does), and I think she understands me. However, she blew me off one day when we were supposed to meet. I was looking forward to it, and yeah I hate getting blown off and I didn't appriciate it that much. So yeah kinda sour about that one, reminds me of my past days with Stefanie a little bit, thats not really a good thing.
Oh yeah, then there is another girl, Brandy yeah she got my number, I got her number, she called me one day, ditched me the next day, never talked to her again... so whatever.
So yeah I have not had a girlfriend since Stefanie and I don't know, I am confused cuz things have been way different since I broke up with Stefanie. It is like I am cursed with women. I can't be with one cuz it is just way to wierd. yeah I know, that sucks but hey fuck it. I am starting to think that I am better off single, no commitment, no being tied down, and no more games, bullshit, or drama.
But anyways Here is a rough draft of what I want and don't want in a g/f. That is if there is such a women in this world... I doubt it but hey, never say never
A girl who wants to spend quality time Not a girl who wants to go out and/to party(s) and the bar without me all the time. A girl who doesn't leave me in the dark about things Not a girl who is shady and deceitful A girl who I can trust Not a girl who is going to give or try to give herself up to me right away or a girl who is going to lie to me A girl who doesn't take away my friends and can get along with my friends (musicians specifically) Not a girl who gets mad when I go see people and go to other places without her, even though she can always go with. A girl who is smart and understands me (goodluck) Not a girl who asks questions all the time and can't understand a hint. Or a girl who asks for permission. A girl who has more girlfriends than guyfriends Not a girl who hangs out with 25 guys and 3 girls A girl who can be open about everything Not a girl who cannot show how she feels and talk about what bothers her.
Specs - Height - Shorter than 5"11 Weight - Less than 155lbs Eyes - Dont matter Breast - Dont matter Butt - Dont matter Hair - Prefer Blond or Brown and Shoulder length or longer Hygeine - Clean, brushes teeth once a day, showers once a day, can get dressed up for a date and act like she is trying to impress me. Age 17-24
Anyways sorry I have been very weird lately, I guess I am not over Stefanie yet. lately, I have wierd outbreaks of behaviors that I had learned and developed while with her. I am still having some stragglers of problems that I am trying to iron out with myself. Anyways untill then, I will not be able to date... so peace and love to all who care and fuck all you who always put me down and treat me like shit...
"My life goals are inspired by "Big Tom" Love you forever big brother, never forget you!" (finding a g/f is not a life goal)
Ok what does that mean right? well I am thinking of getting a job down at jackpot with Chad and Rayshak. It would be fun and then i could see all the people that i appreciate seeing but never get to anyways... yeah anyways, I am constantly in this battle with myself, if you know how i am, and always am too hard on myself than i should be. So I guess its been one of those weeks with me, trying to figure things out, its not that anything is wrong it is that I am trying to improve my quote on quote status of life... so anyways supper time, peace
Finally the day has arrived that I get my cell phoner you boner... all due to my most excellent friend Rayshack, you fool. Any how Me at work and people at bank suck cuz they messed my account all up... so yeah meeting at the bank at 1:45ish.... anyways gonna go, peace and love
Sicko here, having another depressing day. I guess it is cuz I have zero dollars in my check account and I am pretty much F'd for the rest of the week if not for the next 2 weeks.... yeah so between not feeling good and being broke, can you tell I had a great day... oh and I didn't feel good enough to go into work today... so instead I went and worked out tried to sweat off the sickness. That was entertaining but I dont think it helped. I am hungry gonna make something real soon to eat. Hung out with Helene and Gena for awhile, but I chad was bored as well as Me, and we didn't feel like staying around granite so we bolted. Yeah, then I went and saw my campin buddy Dani... we are gonna go to my uncles on friday and camp with him... go fishin, swimmin, and go to SD for fireworks. It should be fun we just have to be careful Goofy doesnt get us... that is Pats Saint Bernard... anyways I'm off, peace and love
well... what can I say, I am getting a new cell phone by friday, so thats cool. Worked yesterday, that was easy. Went to a business meeting at the bar, that was fun. Soon I will be working every other weekend at the bar.... watched "big money hustlers" and "IT" last night... went to perkins with chad rayshack and molly... hung out with some other friends that came over, untill one of them got mad for some reason and left... I don't know what that is all about? All I can say without going into details or hurting anyones feelings, I make my own decisicions so don't try making my mind up for me. think of it this way "you can steer a car with your feet, that don't make it a good f***in Idea" quoted from Chris Rock. Anyways I don't feel good, i think i am sick... I don't think I will be going to work today, I can't sleep and I might puke.... yuck!! Oh yeah I tried talking to my ex but she blew me off.... peace and love
