Sick of being sick and tired!!! This is now one full week of being sick! I don't like it! Well anyways I just wanted to let everyone know that I am not gonna post today except this cuz I am resting and healing, peace and love
Yes, I am still single since the break up with my ex, just so all those people who keep wondering and asking me about it, can know. So right now I am kinda going to go down memory lane with what I have experienced.
First, I was very interested with this one girl, but then I found out she did drugs.... so no way! I am sorry, but i will not screw my life up again going down that road. Example, "what are you doing Sally?" she says "oh nothing going to hit the crack pipe, what are you doing?" I say "going to the park, have fun!" No that would never work for me.
Next, I knew this other girl who wants to get with me, but I am not at all interested in her... how do I tell her without being mean? I have no idea but what I need to do is let her know that I am not going to date right now cuz she is kinda a heavey metal person and she would be a lot cooler if she was my friend.
Also, I used to date her friend Jenny, who I am not gonna get back together with. We dated like 3 or 4 yrs ago. yes I know michelle you were hoping, and yes Stefanie I know you seem to be waiting for me to get another girlfriend since we broke up, but not today.
Then there is this other girl who I dated before, we were kinda hanging out but not really talking at all. Text messaging back and forth a little. I don't want to go into details cuz I don't want to disclose that information, lets just say I like her but it would never work. She is kinda like my last g/f and that is why I had to stop it before we started dating.
Then there is this other girl that I met that I like, and she likes me (well I think she does), and I think she understands me. However, she blew me off one day when we were supposed to meet. I was looking forward to it, and yeah I hate getting blown off and I didn't appriciate it that much. So yeah kinda sour about that one, reminds me of my past days with Stefanie a little bit, thats not really a good thing.
Oh yeah, then there is another girl, Brandy yeah she got my number, I got her number, she called me one day, ditched me the next day, never talked to her again... so whatever.
So yeah I have not had a girlfriend since Stefanie and I don't know, I am confused cuz things have been way different since I broke up with Stefanie. It is like I am cursed with women. I can't be with one cuz it is just way to wierd. yeah I know, that sucks but hey fuck it. I am starting to think that I am better off single, no commitment, no being tied down, and no more games, bullshit, or drama.
But anyways Here is a rough draft of what I want and don't want in a g/f. That is if there is such a women in this world... I doubt it but hey, never say never
A girl who wants to spend quality time Not a girl who wants to go out and/to party(s) and the bar without me all the time. A girl who doesn't leave me in the dark about things Not a girl who is shady and deceitful A girl who I can trust Not a girl who is going to give or try to give herself up to me right away or a girl who is going to lie to me A girl who doesn't take away my friends and can get along with my friends (musicians specifically) Not a girl who gets mad when I go see people and go to other places without her, even though she can always go with. A girl who is smart and understands me (goodluck) Not a girl who asks questions all the time and can't understand a hint. Or a girl who asks for permission. A girl who has more girlfriends than guyfriends Not a girl who hangs out with 25 guys and 3 girls A girl who can be open about everything Not a girl who cannot show how she feels and talk about what bothers her.
Specs - Height - Shorter than 5"11 Weight - Less than 155lbs Eyes - Dont matter Breast - Dont matter Butt - Dont matter Hair - Prefer Blond or Brown and Shoulder length or longer Hygeine - Clean, brushes teeth once a day, showers once a day, can get dressed up for a date and act like she is trying to impress me. Age 17-24
Anyways sorry I have been very weird lately, I guess I am not over Stefanie yet. lately, I have wierd outbreaks of behaviors that I had learned and developed while with her. I am still having some stragglers of problems that I am trying to iron out with myself. Anyways untill then, I will not be able to date... so peace and love to all who care and fuck all you who always put me down and treat me like shit...
"My life goals are inspired by "Big Tom" Love you forever big brother, never forget you!" (finding a g/f is not a life goal)
Ok what does that mean right? well I am thinking of getting a job down at jackpot with Chad and Rayshak. It would be fun and then i could see all the people that i appreciate seeing but never get to anyways... yeah anyways, I am constantly in this battle with myself, if you know how i am, and always am too hard on myself than i should be. So I guess its been one of those weeks with me, trying to figure things out, its not that anything is wrong it is that I am trying to improve my quote on quote status of life... so anyways supper time, peace
Finally the day has arrived that I get my cell phoner you boner... all due to my most excellent friend Rayshack, you fool. Any how Me at work and people at bank suck cuz they messed my account all up... so yeah meeting at the bank at 1:45ish.... anyways gonna go, peace and love
Sicko here, having another depressing day. I guess it is cuz I have zero dollars in my check account and I am pretty much F'd for the rest of the week if not for the next 2 weeks.... yeah so between not feeling good and being broke, can you tell I had a great day... oh and I didn't feel good enough to go into work today... so instead I went and worked out tried to sweat off the sickness. That was entertaining but I dont think it helped. I am hungry gonna make something real soon to eat. Hung out with Helene and Gena for awhile, but I chad was bored as well as Me, and we didn't feel like staying around granite so we bolted. Yeah, then I went and saw my campin buddy Dani... we are gonna go to my uncles on friday and camp with him... go fishin, swimmin, and go to SD for fireworks. It should be fun we just have to be careful Goofy doesnt get us... that is Pats Saint Bernard... anyways I'm off, peace and love
well... what can I say, I am getting a new cell phone by friday, so thats cool. Worked yesterday, that was easy. Went to a business meeting at the bar, that was fun. Soon I will be working every other weekend at the bar.... watched "big money hustlers" and "IT" last night... went to perkins with chad rayshack and molly... hung out with some other friends that came over, untill one of them got mad for some reason and left... I don't know what that is all about? All I can say without going into details or hurting anyones feelings, I make my own decisicions so don't try making my mind up for me. think of it this way "you can steer a car with your feet, that don't make it a good f***in Idea" quoted from Chris Rock. Anyways I don't feel good, i think i am sick... I don't think I will be going to work today, I can't sleep and I might puke.... yuck!! Oh yeah I tried talking to my ex but she blew me off.... peace and love
geez yesterday was long and kinda fun. I went to work did my laundry and possibly got cell phone service through my friend rayshack. Chad is going on a date tonight, him and katina are going to a movie... i hope things work out for him! I dont know what to say... my mom did my laundry for me yesterday... um I brought her dog into town with me for a couple mins, she has rottweiler.... watched bad boys 2...... damn today is a weird morning, i think i need more sleep from now on... peace and love
Hi there, another wonderful Monday morning... yeah right. Anyways, I had a wonderful weekend with my friends and family. First, I am just going to talk about yesterday so here I go... went to bed at 5ish because I was at an afterparty for a band that I went to see... they are a decent band, i forget the name. So I had to wake up and be on the road by 11:30 latest and woke up at 11am, went got gas with william since I was sober cab and had to drive everywhere he offered to pay for the gas that we used, hes a good guy. So then I headed to my Aunts house to meet the car pool and then take off to her aunts house where we hung out with family, played football with pats kids and ate lunch. I had a hotdog, some chips, some beans, and some bars that I can still remember cuz they were delicous. Then I fixed my car stereo cuz it was shorting out, now it sounds excellent. What happened was two speaker wires were touching. Then I played with goofy a little bit, he is pats huge saint bernard dog. Then I cleaned my car, talke to my cousin ryan for a bit and then took off on the road. I got lost on my way home because of some damn detour, yeah I didn't really care cuz I had no plans. When I got back I went and saw my mom, brothers and returned her tripod that she lent me to use for Ben and Maggies wedding. While there I played with there new dog. Kit is her name and she is a rotweiler (however you spell it) My bro Jo was there cuz his car was broken. His cool friend Dana was there also, I like Dana hes smart and friendly. He didn't recognize me cuz I cut my hair. Then i went home made a couple phone calls. One of those phone calls was to my father and it occured at 11pm, late but not late I guess. My father and brother got rear ended yesterday and were taking in on stretchers to the hospital in Glencoe. I guess the cars trunk was pushed all the way up to the back window... exciting but scary. When I got off the phone with him I worked out for about 45 mins. I did arm curls, stair climbing, leg lifts, sit ups and other arm and leg exercises. When I was finished with that I got two phone calls. One from Chad, and the other from Rayshack. THey had just gotten off of work and were cruising in Redwood and they both told me how boring that town is... hey guys what do you expect on a Sunday night? Yes there was 16 cars at M & L parking lot, the people were stupid though... anyways I got some good rest last night, feeling decent and today i get to do my laundry out at my mothers house. I might be getting a new cell phone, i have to come up with some cash though, which I don't have so I will ask my parents to help me out since they get the money back in a year, or I can pay them back with in a year, either or since I am gonna probably sell my old cell to my mother, I don't know though cuz the phone she gave me doesn't have text msg... and I want txt msg... so DAMN IT... I might not go with her plan, I might have to find someone else to go through or something... maybe my father, hes got a cell, i could just hook up a line through him, it would be cheaper... hmmm I think I will call him again today... oh yeah I forget chad and Rayshack are planning on going to valley fair today, maybe with Chads soon to be g/f Katina, who knows... I don't he invited her but she doesn't know yet. Alrighty I am gone... peace and love
5 a.m., sittin in wills basement Just got back from the after party over at luneys house from Luneys band. They played at the U.W. or urban wildlife... it was fun we hung out with some hot girls drank some and partied all night long. My cousin flaked for going to tropics but thats cool, I guessshehad some issues to work out or something. i visited my aunts house too. I am tired so this whole blog oesn't make any sence. hmm, i dont knowwhat to say alyssa was hot but not my type and she didn't likeme, she is into the clean cut guys...she is willys friend that wentto the club with us. yawn... oh yeha I went to granite, ditched some girls, hung out down at the 8ball with scoots. later peace and love
Recently I have been receiving posts, or how I like to call it "Hate mail," on my new Fight page (or guestbook) on my other website, I was deleting them for a while but now I am just gonna let them run wild. Because when comes to haveing dirt on someone, usually I have the upper hand like in this case, my ex is trying to start something that she has no idea what she will be puting her self through... cuz if i wanted to be a real jerk I think I have pic's of her, you would have to ask her, I can't remember (not telling ...unless) as well as other things I have on her... I am just getting sick of her telling me how things were one way, when they weren't. Especially when I got people telling me that I am a better person than when I was with her for the last 6 months. These people also give me huge examples... but lets not go into this unless...
Unless what? Unless my ex starts a bunch of crap and I need to protect myself.
Any ways yesterday, went to work, went to redwood with (Rejsek) rayshack. Played basketball, watched league volleyball, cruised, met a whole lot of people... greg, brandon, Ariel, Anthony, Mandy, as well as hung out with Rainy, T.L., some other dude, and many more, I can't remember names that well. Anyways going back to yesterdays post, I didn't hang out with Brandy, Did talk to Mallory twice, and today I might go swimming with Helene, Chesgay, and Gena... Don't know though waiting for them to call.
whats up peeps, just chillin at home, its the first night I have been home at midnight in over a fricken week or so... yeah that bad I guess. Well today, Went to work till 3:30 then I went and got the new Beastie Boys Cd, it Rocks! After that I drove to O-town stopped at THE CHAD's and him and I went to Granite Falls. First, we stopped at the grocery store in O-town. Next we drove to the Kilowatt Center (rec center) in Granite. We played basketball, chad lifted some weights (all 5 lbs) and then we went swimming. That was fun, we played basketball in the pool cuz they had a hoop set up. I won the game 11-10 it was close. After that we went on their water slide about 8 times each, that was fun. Chad and I were doing all types of stupid shit that you could do, but was not allowed. Luckily one of my friends works there at the center as a life guard. Her name is Katie, and she is fine looking, chad would of taken her out to dinner. Anyways caught up with her for a little while, well as much as I could while still having fun, wasn't gonna let a conversation get in the way fun... that would suck ass! Anyways, after that we cruised around granite, stopped at Subway and talked to Brianna. Shes cute and sweet... anyways after that we cruised again this time yelling at out the windows at girls driving by us, it was exhilirating, none the less. After that we drove up to 3 girls parked in a gas sation parking lot, 1 was named shaniqua or some shit we laughed at her and she got mad, ah well life goes on. Next, we went over to Jennys for like 10 mins cuz she asked Chad and I to stop by. We watched some Fruitcake lady on Jay leno talk some smack at her age of 70 (most likely) then we took off and now i am home. I just got off the phone with rayshak and were gonna do something tomorrow night, who knows... then right after that I talked to Brandy, shes cool, she don't work tomorrow and wants to hang out, I don't know, I guess it depends on what rayshak wants to do, anythings cool with me, as long as its fun or entertaining... they kinda run hand in hand... anyways The PISTONS beat the living crap out of the Lakers and that is the way it should have been anyways.... Ben Wallace, you da shizznit... word life, peace and love I'm off to bed
Hey there kiddo's its me again back to harass you ass like an 8 yr old suckin down a popsickle in 99 degree weather in the summer. So whats up, not much here just at work still haven't gotten any sleep since the wedding thats cool though. I am at least having lots of fun silly. Anyways this blog is gonna be short, just a little tiny one. I guess my life goes on like this, I found information out second hand about a certain person I use to be close with. I guess in the end "I told you so, just doesn't say it." Anyways moving on with my life, I went to my friend Bens cabin on the lake and then over to his house to watch a bunch of people drink, that was cool. We played basketball on a 9'5" Hoop, I was dunking hardcore. I left there and headed to Redwood met up with some friends, went and saw another friend and then dealt with a drunk friend, needless to say I got home and in bed around 2-3ish... anyways live and learn. Yesterday, I hung out with my best friend the CHAD, hes cool shit, hooked him up with a girl that we saw at Walmart in willmar... her names Katina and she is from new london. After that we went to Sibley state park hung around, then went to Spicer where it is nicer and went swimming, then installed some car stuff, then off to redwood where Chad and I met up with 4 girls and hung out for a bit in the Mcdonalds parking lot. After that Chad and I went storm chasing, it was a long day but fun none the less.... peace and love gotta get to work
well today all started with me getting up around 1ish or so thatI think, then I got ready to go play basketball no one was in Olivia playing so I decided to drive to Granite, no one was playing there either. It must have been to hot to play, i only played for 1/2 hour. after that I went to the grocery store bought a pizza, ranch and some pop and went over to Lauries house and hung out with Brad, Jon, scoots and Ron. No one was hungry so I ate alone. After that I went 4wheeling with Helene and Gena. after that Us 3 went swimming in Cottonwood for about an hour. Then I went and hung out with Jenny and Lacy who I had not seen in about a week. We watched Road Trip, I jetted after 1/2 of it though cuz I needed to get here to leave my post then go to bed. anyways I turned my airconditioner off the other day and it is finally hot in here, i think i liked the cold better so that suckers going on tonight in about 4 mins. anyways... peace and love
It all started with an awsome wedding of my great friends Ben and Maggie. Swords, 35 min service, dance afterwords (didn't stay Long) then I headed to Granite to my friend Jons house and wrote a song with him, we started tracking and what not but I fell asleep around 3am. Saturday, woke up played some Tiger Woods golf, got my butt kicked, then I went to the gas station, saw Jenny and her click for about 2 mins then I took off to Redwood. In Redwood I drove around and met some new people. First, I met Kate(E) and her friend Mallory. One was 16 the other 14, they waved me down so i stopped and talked to them for about a 1/2 hour. Then, I met up with Heather and Cassandra. That was fun, although they had a huge fight with Heathers mom proceeding my departure. Needless to say I didn't want to be around to witness it happen. After that I went driving around the whip and 2 girls followed me for about 3 miles and then i pulled over and went and talked to them. The first one was Lindsey she is 18, shoulder cut hair, blonde, skinny. Then Alison, 17 brownish-black hair down to her shoulder blades, athletic build. anyways we talked for about 45 mins then I headed to jackpot and met up with rayshak and Chad after they got off work. Then us three went to Dakota to eat and then headed to morgan where we broke into the pool and went swimming, now I am at home and it is 4am, anyways i am off to bed, who knows what tomorrow brings? I guess stay tuned, same bat time, same bat channel.... peace and love
Long night, kinda like new different path. Last night I played basketball for awhile, the guys called me everything from Captain America, to Uncle Sam, to Michael Jordan... I guess it was the red white and blue outfit I wore to the basketball court. It was fun though they called me that, it didn't really bother me cuz its not how you look its how you play.
Before that I went to the church with Ben and Maggie to figure out how the Sound sytem was working for the wedding since I have to mic up a cd player and run it for Maggies entrance into the church.
After basketball chad and I went to go see "The day after tomorrow" it was great for effects but not a good story line. I guess a dad going to save his boy just is not that entertaining, but the graphics made up for that lack of production.
After the movie, chad and I cruised around Redwood til' I saw my old friend Heather. We talked to her and then we all headed over to her house for awhile and chilled. After that Chad and I went to a party in Redwood with Rayshak and three of his girlfriends... the party wasn't that great so Chad, rayshak and I ditched it and went to Jackpot for a midnight snack. I had pancakes and buffalo wings... it was good. Next, Chad drove me home cuz it was like 2:30 in the morning, geez I was tired. I guess I was late for work this morrning by 45 minutes but that is the price I pay for staying out late. I think next week I need to work my tail off so I don't get into any trouble. Being sick this week, and showing up late, it just isn't kosher. Anyways so here I am scrubbing computers about to head to my 15 min break, however I wanted to update the world about my life before I would have forgotten. peace and love
Yeah, life is good and bad. I don't like drama and I don't like feeling insecure. When those two interconnect, bad friendships can develop out of it, and I don't like when that happens.
Anyways today I was sick, didn't call into work untill 11:30ish, I feel crappy about doing that. After that I went to Granite Falls to watch my cousin get his but reemed by granite. If only he would of played, he could have made a difference! Anyways the score was 10-3 in 7 innings because they are H.S. and that is all they play. Also, i spent some time out with my friend Jon jamming to some music, writing some music ideas down and then jetting to go hang out with my friend Helene. Her and Gena were puddle hopping today, fun I guess. After that I talked to Jenny for about 15 mins and then headed to danube to talk to Block, my bosses Son in law. They want me to work on Friday but I have my friends wedding. Its to bad cuz I want to work, but I have prior commitments, and there is no way I will ditch out on my good friend Pokey. Anywho Suppose I be headin to bed long day tomorrow, prepping myself for the wedding and working out, and working. AnYwaYs, peace and Love
Yesterday, Sunday, was a most awsome day! I went to the Twins game with Jonathan, laurie, and Tiana. It was fun, the twins went up against the Detroit tigers. The twins won 6-5, almost losing it in the ninth. Detroit had 1 out and 1 runner on base, the next batter swung and hit it to the fence but flyed out. Next the tension built but we were holding on, with Joe Nathan striking out the final batter that was up, the twins won the game. It was intense and a lot of homeruns were hit in the game.
After that I hung out with Jon for awhile before he went to bed at 7pmish. Next, I got a call from my friend Rayshak. Him and I went and played Hacky sack with about 10 people in granite falls. There was chris, rayna, michelle, Helene, Jenny, Smithers, 2 girls i didn't know and 2 guys i didn't know so all together there was 12 people that includes myself. It was a fun but odd experience. I guess it was just wierd hanging out with all my old friends, and rayshak didn't know any of them. ah well life is still good right? right. Ok, well here I sit at work tired on this monday morning, cuz last night after hacky sack I went over to a friends house from granite and helped her with her hair dye, fell asleep while she was washing it out, and then she woke me up this morning to go to work. A most exhilirating experience this was because I didn't know that I fell asleep and when I woke up I was confused where I was.
Moving on is always tough on a person after a break up. I have however found ways to relieve my stress and exert my energy into other places into my life. I was so tied down before that I could not do anything without a guilt trip. Now, I don't have to be home for a phone call, I can now have plans for the weekend, and I can live life like it was meant to be lived.
Anyways an update at where I am right now, my gramps is doing better. He is now out of his drug induced coma, and he is starting to breathe on his own. Next, I haven't talked to the ex since monday, and I haven't felt better than I do know since when she and I had first started dating. Next, I am playing music with my friend Jon again, we have had problems but we sat down and ironed them out this last week, so things will hopefully stay good. I was out at his house the last couple of days, he had two small parties and I would guesstimate that 9 people were out there yesterday and 7 the day before, like I said not to big but enough to have a great time. Peace and Love
Twice, two days in a row I have slept through my alarm clock, this is getting bad. I guess I need sleep or something, I don't know. I wish I could just be on time for work, I am not starting to feel like I am responsible or something. Today though, I am at work, then go play some basketball then I am going down to Granite to sleep over at a friends house, I think. Well anyways, peace
"Cuz I'm broken [. . .] The worst is over now, and we Can finally breathe again, [. . .] I wanted you to know that I loved the way you left"
I listen to this song a lot because it makes me feel like there is a tomorrow, as much as I wallowed in pain felt abandoned, and felt backstabbed I can move on knowing I tried my best and that there are always other people to look to
I missed my alarm clock today for the first time in a while! It is 7:47 and I need to be to work by 9:00. I think I am going to stop at the bank first at 8:30, that way I don't get any overdrafts! THat would suck a lot if that was to happen. But I look outside and it looks like it is going to be the most beutiful day I have seen in three weeks of rain! That rain was getting sickning, ah well it is over with now. I guess a little update wouldn't hurt. I have completely moved on from my ex-gf now and I don't think about her barely at all anymore. I have gotten rid of most of her stuff in my apt. or given it all back. I still owe her money, which she WILL get before the end of the summer, cuz I don't want to ever think I didn't anything wrong to her. Next, I have partied so much this last weekend I think I partied more in one weekend than a year with my ex-gf... I guess she had me tied down. I used to party a lot when I was in a band out in Granite Falls, that stopped when the band broke up though. However, I have rekindled my friendships with about 10 different people out there, so I look to be out there whenever I got free time. Music, last night I went and jammed with a guy named brian. He has played guitar for 6 years and has about 20 guitars, seriously! The guy plays some melodic-toolish-pink floyd shit that is pretty relaxing but can pick up real quick. The day before I hung out with brian, I played music with my former band mate, John. Johns a good guy, we have always gotten along most of the time. It was the first time either of us had played music with a guitar player or drummer in 7 months or so, it was intense. Plus we had some girls watching us, loving every moment of it, it boost my self esteem, as well as John I think. Peace and love
Hi Laurie Blue - something, I just wanted to say hi to you! You have been such an inspiration to me and my life. You have helped me understand things in life I would of not figured out! You have helped me when I needed help! You were like my 2nd mom. I love you thanks for being awsome!
ah, well its officially over. I went camping in spicer with my friends chad and rayshack on friday. saturday I went to a bachelor party and saw some strippers. Later that night I went to my friend R-man's house for a party. After a while me and my other friend Hawk went over to waserski's house. After that we returned to R-mans and I stayed there till about 4a.m. Sunday, I went to my little bro's grad' party. Saw the family, got phone numbers from relatives, and made future arrangements. We had food and It was a nice little time that we had. When I was finished with that I headed back up to spicer to go camping again. Chad, rayshack,and I decided we wanted to go to Melvins bar. Then i slept in my car cuz there wasn't room in tent. Monday morning, I thought I had to work so I drove to work and my car broke down. That sucked, I had to walk about 1 mile or 2 one way and back, I couldn't get a hold of anybody. Finally a trooper pulled up and gave me a ride to my ex-g/f's house in Willmar. She was up, she gave me a ride back to spicer where I went and woke up chad and rayshack. We went to walmart and got jumper cables. My car started right away after the jump, however it died again this morning so I need to check out the battery and what not to figure out. After this I went home and lounged, tooka shower and then went to redwood falls with rayshack. First, we went to Morgan. Next, we went to redwood and went to park and checked out the overfilled water in the river. After that He took off and chad and I cruised around redwood talking to people for about 3-4 hours. Finally, I got home, got ready and went to Granite falls and spent the night at my friend Johns house. There was a couple people out there. First there was lacy, Helean, Scoots, and Jenny. Next, there was rayna and rachelle. We all just kinda hung out and did nothing. Now today after being up all night I am at work, tired as all hell and ready to sleep. I know I will get through the day, I just need to take naps on my breaks, peace
